Thanks everyone for the film suggestions…I will be checking them out and taking a list with me next time I go to town.

John -

I can never type the word ‘knowledge’ right first time.
I want to know what you end up typing at first, personally.

That would be ‘knolwedge’. Exciting.

I’m allergic to suede.
Just suede? Not regular leather?

Just suede, I’m fine with leather. Weird.

Anyway.

I’m a bit all over the place at the moment, for various reasons. A certain person whose name begins with J seems hell-bent on devising ways to piss me off. Jenni who is sleeping properly and eating properly can deal with it; Jenni who has had the stresses of being ill, turning 21, dealing with Christmas, exams, essays, a part-time job, new uni modules and various other people on top of lack of sleep and far too much chocolate, cannot.

I want to note here that it’s late, I’m tired, I’m rambling. My grammar and sentence length will suck.

My modules are not really what I expected. My Language Development one – which imo should be called ‘Language Acquisition and Development’ to be less misleading – is good, but the lecturer is not the most prepared person in the world. Also, I’ve been doing a lot of background reading on the main topics, which ended up hitting me when I started to get annoyed by certain condescending comments and badly phrased explanations. Yes, I’m a pedant. However, when she asks people to vote on a question whether they think ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, and I know for a fact that the answer is ‘Partly’, then I’m not going to raise my hand to either option. And of course she looks directly at me and makes some comment about how not everyone voted.

Also, my lovely tutor who claimed her drama module had no practical element to it was not telling the truth *sighs* Yes, we don’t get assessed on anything practical, but I’m not keen on spontaneously acting a melodramatic part involving fainting/jumping out of a window after a 2 hour lecture on language acquisition in front of 23 people of whom I know very few. The presentation we have to do will be bad enough.

On the plus side, I tried on the dress that I bought not so long ago with the intention of losing some more weight before wearing it to the party on the 16th. When I tried it on in the changing rooms I wasn’t sure about it. Now I really, really like it – but on the negative side, the other dresses I own now look crap. It’s probably the shortest dress I’ve ever worn; Joey said it looked like a top, but as I’m so short it’s actually knee length (in parts). It’s quite tight but I don’t feel fat in it.

Which is another point – I’ve been eating so much crap lately and my skin is really bad as a result. I’ve also eaten a 500ml tub of low fat frozen dessert in just 2 days, and I’ve been skipping meals to hide out in my room. I hate confrontation at the moment, and I want to be with one particular person who doesn’t have time for me right now. I’m not being critical, and God knows people have to have time away from me to stop them killing themselves, but I feel kind of vulnerable at the moment. I’ve been analysing myself quite a bit (actually, quite a lot considering how much I analyse things compared to the majority of other people), and I’ve come up with a couple of interesting theories about my mental health. My physical health remains a mystery however, as despite all this crap I’m still alternating between maintaining weight and losing it.

So yeah, I’m up and down quite a lot right now. The littlest thing can completely change my mood, if I didn’t know better I’d say I was verging on very very mild bipolar. I’d like to say it’s girly hormones, but it’s not. At the moment it seems to be based on an incredible paradox of wanting to talk to people but wanting to stay away from them, and then feeling rejected when they stay away from me. Yeah…it’s weird. I think it might be more based on the fact that I’ve not really been communicating recently (i.e. in the past 2 days) with many people I want to talk to right now (Rich, Vitushni, Sarah etc. etc. aside of course). Whereas the people I don’t want to talk to I can’t avoid. I could do with going home really, but I’m going soon anyway for the party and it’s a lot of hassle to go and come back and then go and come back again…plus I need to do work.

I need sleep.

My new timetable is Fridays, 11-3. So I’ve not started back yet, but will be doing so on Friday

I’m stuck with a load of chores I don’t want to do right now: call work and tell them my timetable, set up a feedback meeting with my tutor, head along to another campus to find a playscript I need, sort out the paperwork for next year’s applications, go food shopping, buy a course book I need, do the Drama and Language reading, make notes on the books I got out of the library yesterday, go to the gym, start dissertation work. I just can’t be bothered right now. What I’d like is to laze in bed reading some fiction of my choice, then have someone bring me up a smoothie. Then watch some TV and/or play a game.

I’m not usually this lazy…yesterday was a fairly typical day for me. I got up, had breakfast, walked the 40 mins to the gym, did a fairly heavy cardio workout, walked to the library, looked up/read/got out books, read whilst eating lunch, went to my department and altered my module sign up. Walked home, started my notes on the books I got out, read and helped Em out with an essay over MSN, cooked dinner, did some more notes, browsed the Internet, talked to Vitushni and Sarah over MSN, watched some TV on my laptop, listened to music…Heh. I barely saw my housemates yesterday.

Even though it was raining yesterday and it’s not today, I just can’t get started. So I’m going to list some random facts about myself that you may or may not know, whilst I decide what to do.

My shoe size is UK 6.

I’m not particularly a morning person or a night owl – I’ll do either, and sometimes both.

I can never type the word ‘knowledge’ right first time.

The last thing I bought was a bottle of water.

The last thing I baked was a batch of double chocolate chip muffins.

The last game I played was Zelda, with Joey.

I hate walking in heels, but heeled boots are good.

I’m allergic to suede.

I can tell the difference between my cat’s meows: when she’s hungry, wet, hurt or going to be sick.

My room is quite messy right now.

Wherever I am, there’s always someone I’m missing.

I’m currently overdrawn by about £400 in my student account.

Okay, I’ve decided that I will get out of bed, dress, have breakfast, head down to campus and buy the course book I need (fingers crossed)/photocopy or get it out of the library, go to the SU shop and buy lunch and hopefully a few food essentials, call work, and sort out all my paperwork at home, some of which I can use for my dissertation. Then I’ll make more notes on the books I got out. Hmm. Oh, and I need to put all my clean dry laundry away and tidy my room a little. Let’s see how much I get done….

So I’ve been busy with essays and exam…they’re all over now, but there’s no rest for the wicked as I’m now stuck with next semester’s reading and I’m back at the office too (God that makes me sound old)…worked almost a full day today, and I’m booked in for a full day tomorrow. ANOTHER day of making image lists, one of the most tedious tasks in the world – ick. At least it’s relatively mindless, and it’s working for Mr Eager, who remains, well, eager. Maybe even EAGER. He was telling me about spending his New Year in Portgual…he always seems to be on holiday when he’s not being eager. Wonder if he’s an eager tourist too? Probably.

The rest of my supposed week off will be dedicated to household chores and organisation, and gym trips. I can’t believe I’m actually in my last semester of university now. I graduate on 9th July, and then I’ll have letters after my name. Exciting stuff…

I have a ton of stuff to read for my Drama module, Fin-de-siecle; apparently we’re expected to do 13 hours’ work a week outside set contact hours. I’m not quite sure how that works, since it’s a drama module.  Also, if I x3 for all my modules, that’s 45 hours/week. Add in social stuff, regular gym visits and part-time job and it turns into a mad rush of busy-ness that doesn’t account for stuff like laundry and cooking and shopping.

Talking of shopping, I bought a lovely dress at half price yesterday, which I may well wear to a certain 21st birthday party. I’m undecided though because a) I’m not really sure if it’s me and b) I definitely need to lose a bit of holiday weight before I wear it. I’m going to take it home and then decide. I know Sarah would definitely talk me into wearing it, but I also know my family will force their views on me and be honest about whether I look shit or not.

I’m turning into such a girly girl, I must’ve bought about 4-5 dresses over the past few months. And with Sarah’s help, I spent a ton on make up. It actually took me more than about 10 mins to get ready when I went out with Joseph the other night, and it was worth the effort.

I’ve got the house to myself tonight – decided it wasn’t a wise idea to go out when I overslept this morning from tiredness and I have work at 9 am tomorrow. But I’m going to make the most of it, and play some wii whilst no one’s watching/intending to watch TV. Yay.

In other news, would anyone like to recommend me some films, other than chick flicks and horrors, that are good? I don’t mind if they’re really old or classics you’d expect me to have seen – I probably won’t have seen them.