I went to the casting for the ‘reality’ ‘model’ show and it was fun. All the girls there were gorgeous. Coleen was really nice, even if I was a little scared by the fake smiles whilst the cameras were on. She asked me some questions and shook my hand and stuff, which was cool. I didn’t get through, but I don’t regret going and everyone there was like a UK 10 or smaller, so meh. I can’t say too much about it because I signed a confidentiality agreement; what I will say is that after hearing some of the stories today and experiencing the filming for myself, reality tv is in no way similar to reality. Which may sound obvious, but I just didn’t realise the extent to which things are faked.

One of the girls in our ‘group’ (yep, we all formed groups like we were back in school or something) got through to the final 11 at least, so I’m really happy for her. Plus everyone got free shampoo lol. Some of the most beautiful girls didn’t get through though, and most people were surprised at who was chosen. I know I was, there were two beautiful girls I was convinced would be in it and weren’t.

Coleen was short (I think even shorter than lil’ old 5′2″ and a half me), and was wearing all black. She looked good, but if you didn’t know who she was, you wouldn’t look twice at her in the street. Other celebrities of the day included an ex-soap star (who happened to be walking past) and a Big Brother 4 contestant (not sure whether she was involved in the making of the programme or not).

I also got talking to a girl who was crazy for entering things, including Miss Great Britain and Miss England, which apparently you just pay to enter.

In other news, I’ve been feeling a bit down over the past couple of days. I’m going on holiday next week so I’m trying to look forward to that but it’s tough. I don’t WANT to be depressed any more, and in many ways it’s not as bad as it has been but I have no reason to feel bad, I don’t WANT to feel bad, so why am I feeling bad? Ugh.

Thanks for the feedback guys, I’ve decided to go to the audition. I have a hair appointment booked for the 29th, and hopefully my hair will still look good the next day, since I have to be there for 9 am. I’m still not 100% about this, but people have been guilt tripping me that someone else could have had the chance to go, and your comments about changing my mind anyway made sense. Plus, only 5 people out of the 60-80 there will be chosen, so there is practically no chance I’ll get picked anyway.

I’ve lost a good 6 pounds since I put my weight down when I applied for the show, so I might have to alter that, I don’t know. So far I’m 11 pounds down, which is so close to being a stone already, I’m really happy. 

I went on the quest for the perfect top today, and ended up buying a (gorgeous) dress. So I’m still at square one  in terms of what to wear. I don’t want to wear a black top because my hair’s really dark and won’t show up as well, but I have a great black top (stolen from my sister) that would work well with the jeans and boots I’m planning on wearing. If it were a bit later in the year I could wear the brown jumper (in the right hand pic at the top of the brown theme) that I get complimented on every time I wear, but it’s way too hot. I’m also worried about wearing the same thing as someone else, not standing out enough, standing out too much…argh! I don’t want to look too dressed up, but I also don’t want to look like I’ve just got out of bed. I’ll have to go through my clothes again and decide. I would be tempted to wear my new dress, but the only shoes I have that would go with it for this are black knee-high ones which are in Notts *sigh* I am planning to take the dress on holiday though, and dress it down with silver flip flops. So basically, pointy black boots and greyish tightish jeans with my newish denim FCUK bag are as far as I’ve got. Maybe a plain strappy top with silver jewellery, I don’t know. At least I’ve found something new to obsess about lol. I have no idea what else to take either, I might take my photos from the June photoshoot, something to read, makeup remover wipes, a clip, and some food/drink. They said it’s going to be kind of coffee-morning style in part, with cakes etc. – none of which I can eat on my detox. I’ll be there with carrot sticks and water lol. I had Thai Green Curry and rice last night when we went out for a meal, and my stomach was in knots (I think it was the white rice, they didnt have any brown)…I’m kind of limited in the processed foods I can eat these days which don’t kill me. Anything with a lot of added/unnatural sugar is a big no-no if I don’t want to spend a good few hours in complete agony. I guess it’s my body rejecting things that are bad for me in large quantities; it’s kind of like a completely natural, free and almost risk-free stomach stapling, with added nutritional benefits! Any more than one glass of concentrated fruit juice just about kills me.

My parents gave Pom the bone from the lamb. He gets very possessive about his bones – even though he loves my dad more than anyone in the world, if my dad steps too close to Pom and his bone, he gets growled at. A fly dared to land on Pom’s bone, and was instantly snapped to death. Anyway, after Pom had finished with his bone, he ran round the garden trying to find somewhere to bury it. But the ground was too hard, so my dad and Pom ended up burying the bone together, my dad using his spade and Pom helping with his paws. Very cute lol. I was quite surprised, because normally Pom doesn’t like you to watch while he buries something (particularly when it’s a soft toy he’s taken from somewhere).

I’m going to have a laze in the bath after my busy day shopping (!), and I will return last entry’s comments very very soon.

I keep meaning to blog and update but it’s difficult to get Internet access at home due to my ebay-crazy mum and my sister who loves to watch really long episodes of things. Sigh.

So, what’s been going on in the world of Jenni? Well, my lovely friend Tom has departed for his year abroad in France and Italy, and even though we’re going to write (I think), and I’m determined to go and visit him, I’m going to miss him a lot. And that got me thinking of my other friends doing a year abroad this year, and also my third year friends and Alana who have now left. And the people attached to THEM, like Vitushni’s boyfriend Steven and Alana’s boyfriend Andy, who I will no longer see. Which generally makes me feel sad, although I hope I will still see at least some of these people from time to time, and there’s always email and facebook. I’m beginning to get used to having people go out of my life though. And there are some positives, like my new housemates, and Richard and Tabi will be living a lot closer (although I guess their old housemates also count as people I will no longer be seeing). Argh. Circles much?

More depressing news..I had my first ever filling a couple of days ago. I was such a baby about it, as you might expect considering the fact that a) it’s me we’re talking about here and b) I’m lucky enough never to have any kind of treatment for anything, really. The dentist had a new toy. And I know men and their toys can be very obsessive, one-track minded people from working with the guys in Nottingham. I tried to mentally convince myself that it would be fine, the dentist was just excited about his new toy. Exactly the same thing. Except, you know, his toy wasn’t a plastic gun or a usb gadget, it involved lasers. In my mouth. Apparently it was used to tell how much each tooth is decayed by, and if the reading is over 25 then it needs a filling. My tooth was 33, and then he insisted on testing some of my other teeth, despite my somewhat muffled complaints that he was enjoying this far too much, whilst I was there looking completely stupid and shitting myself that all my teeth would end up needing fillings. Anyway, one or two tested for 0 decay, and the highest was 14. Needless to say I’m lookig after my teeth exceptionally well at the moment, with random bouts of paranoia that all my teeth will go black and fall out. My parents have had tons of problems with their teeth – one of my mum’s fell out eating toast, of all things. My dad’s spent at least £1500 on surgery because he had to have various things done and had an infection which spread, thanks to the other dentist at the practice, who is completely useless and who I refused to see (reasons for this are really long, so won’t go into that now). So yep, I’m fully recovered and very grateful to my mum who was always so strict about me eating sugary things when I was a kid, and making sure I brushed my teeth properly. Even now, I absolutely wouldn’t even consider going to sleep without brushing them. I was with someone and they asked if I was falling asleep, and my first instinct was complete surprise  how could I even think about falling asleep without brushing my teeth?? I’m such a geek lol. I swear I’m borderline OCD.

In more news…my sister gets her GCSE results tomorrow, so I was dashing about buying her a helium balloon, fudge and an iced chocolate slab. I had to scrape a bit of the icing though as the woman had put ‘Congrat’s’. I wouldn’t like my sister to eat anything grammatically incorrect; it might make her ill or something

Next week is my last week at work before I go to the Czech Republic and Poland for a fortnight, then it’s back to uni to register, and classes start a week after that I think. Since I’ve been off since May, it feels about ready to go back then, even though I’m really not prepared. I’ve started buying books, but there’s a long way to go yet.

But before that…well, I have an audition for a TV show that I’m not completely sure whether or not I want to go to yet. I’ve asked a couple of people and my family what they think, and the results are: three yeses, one no, and a maybe. And I’m crap at making decisions so who even knows. I’ve already changed my mind about fifty times already.