Merry Christmas

Well, as always, I have ideas, I just don’t have the tenacity or motivation to put them into practice. I’m even telling myself to update but I really don’t want to. I’m not feeling the need to blog about my life any more either, which really sucks because I used to love doing that. If I did blog about events, feelings, etc., I’d probably freak quite a lot of people out.

However…life goes on, to quote Dora Chance/Angela Carter (when in doubt, quote other people). I’ve got as far as taking some pics of my new haircut (although I can’t seem to find my pen drive to put them on this computer), and I designed a header for a layout ages ago which may appear sometime in the new year. I’ve also written a new subpage, which needs to be teamed up with a few other things before I can add it and list it as an update

I’ve been spending very little time on the computer – I’ve been out seeing friends (Sarah, Tom, Em, Hannah and Andy), doing uni work, my mum has been on it quite a bit for ebay (as usual), and what time I have spent on it has been browsing livejournal communities, reading university emails, posting on a bravenet message board I set up for a group assignment, and printing. (Whew long sentence!). Trying to keep busy to take my mind off things. I’ve written up all the uni notes I was behind on, and I’ve printed off several hundreds of pages of extra notes dating back to September/October. I’ve also read various books (I’m really not keeping up with updating my reading list!), and am re-reading some for my exams. 

I’m trying to remember the last exam-free Christmas I had…I think I must have been maybe 9, 10 – so a decade ago! And the last Christmas where I didn’t have ‘important’ exams – 15 probably. It will be weird once uni is over and I actually have a christmas holiday I don’t have to work through…hmm…

All my Christmas presents have been bought, wrapped (and in some cases given) for a while now. Because of the relatives staying with us, I ended up buying more presents this year, and I’m not broke but getting there after spending £60 on a return train ticket the other day Maybe I’ll get some money for Christmas.

Hmm..what else? I’m basically just trying to keep busy, but it’s really difficult when I’m still having a hard time. I’m still emotionally very down, but trying to keep upbeat, which results in a ton of mood swings where I’m all over the place. At the moment there seem to be a lot of ‘triggers’ – a careless phrase or text, and I’m in pieces. I’m nowhere near as strong as I used to be but I’m hoping, with a family Christmas, and some time at home with my friends will cure me. I really hope so.

Merry Christmas everybody